It took a lot of work and proving myself to the people that would okay it. A whole year of showing that I was willing to put the work in. Having a pump means doing lots of blood sugars, watching what you eat so that you can input the right amounts and looking after injection sites even more so as the cannula stays in for days at a time.
So for a girl that found it hard to do regular blood test I really put the work in, did at least 4-6 tests a day and had weekly contact with my nurse.
My nurse took it to the meeting that goes over all the candidates and I was lucky enough to be accepted. All my hard work had actually payed off this time, it felt great.
They had me go on a week long course to make sure I was carb counting properly, to go over the effects of food, drink, exercise and daily life. Going over blood testing and injection sites and how different insulin's work in all different ways. It was like being a new diabetic, it was really interesting, the first time around I'd been to young to take it all in and I was learning things that I'd either forgotten or things had changed since I was first diagnosed.
It was also really nice to be around other diabetics, it had been along time since I'd been around others and last time it was kids at the diabetic camps.
Once I'd been on the week course and they knew I knew what I was doing and could be trusted to look after myself they had a day where they went over all the different pumps and what they could do. Essentially they all do the same, but some where more fancy or technical then others. You can get simple ones that look like pagers or uber smart ones that look like smart phones. You can also get fancy sensors that sit under the skin and test your blood for you and cool blood meters that bluetooth the results right to your pump.
It was really fun picking out the one that was just right for me. The major thing that I was really worried about was injecting the cannula. I have a real phobia about cannulas and having to inject them myself was really hard to get my head around. I've got a special gadget that kinda does it for me, although I still have to press the buttons.
The whole process of getting the pump was like starting again, I could put the past behind me and start off fresh.
Monday 2 November 2015
Sunday 18 October 2015
The Pump part 1
So this week I thought I'd talk about the insulin pump. I am on the pump and have been for a few years now.
We first heard about the pump when I first started to get really ill and then I was ill often as you know, My mum had heard about it and she did a lot of research. It seemed like just the thing I should go on now that I was so out of control and was becoming insulin resistant. So we approached the hospital about it, at the time they where only funding a few people, where as now a days they try to get new diabetics on as soon as possible and anyone else that meets the criteria.
For anyone that doesn't know the insulin pump is like an artificial pancreas, you have a constant feed of insulin and then you just type in the carbs when you've eaten and it calculates what insulin to give for that. Each person is different and so the pump can work a lot better with individual needs, say like the dawn phenomenon where an injected background insulin just can't work properly, you can set up a certain plan for different levels of insulin and different times.
So the hospital said no because my control was way to bad, which yes it was but the whole point of the pump is to help get the control and then keep it,as long as the pump works for you, like I said everyone is different and not everything that's a miracle for one person will be the same for another. They said if I get better control then I could get the pump, there is a lot of work that you have to do when you have the pump, mainly blood testing, but I guess they wanted me to prove to them that I was willing to put the work in. So I did, I worked my little butt off and crawled back to being in control, once that was achieved I went back to the hospital, they again turned me down, said I was too in control and didn't qualify for the pump any more. That greatly pissed me and my mum off, we had both worked hard at me getting to where they said I had to be, even though when I had first gone to them I had all the criteria for the pump. They had dangled it like a carrot and promised something they weren't willing to give, so I didn't care anymore. My thoughts at the time where, if the hospital aren't willing to help me when they said they would, why should I bother then. Silly I know.
What we didn't understand was that independent people that worked with diabetics all the time and the pump said I was the prime person to get a pump, they even talked to the hospital on my behalf. They just didn't seem to want to listen.
This encounter put me off the whole team at the hospital, I didn't feel like I could trust them and that they certainly didn't care about my health. I even stopped going to my appointments. It's not like they didn't say anything new when I went in for my check ups, always the same, you need to have better control speech.
I really put me off the insulin pump too. Not so much the thing it's self but it seemed to good to be true and everyone seemed to be getting them now, which really rubbed it in. I was very bitter about the whole thing, still kind of am, if you can't tell.
But that was the old team I had, It all changed for me when I went into the care of the young adult clinic. Fantastic team there.
I will tell you, yes looking after your diabetes comes down to you and what you do or don't do but it helps all the more when you have the support you need, whether it is family, friends or the clinicians behind your care.
That's when the idea started to come again, from my nurse not from us.
Sunday 27 September 2015
Footsie
Most doctors go on about looking after your feet and they are right on this one. They are one of the first things that can show signs of high blood sugars, apart from the actual blood sugar and can be one of the first things that can cause a lot of trouble.
They high sugars can cause lots of things, like we have discussed through out this blog and another way for the body to show signs is infections. Little infections on the side of the nail, real painful and can bet worse real quick if not looked after. I used to always have one some where on one of my toes, not often on the big toes but they where a constant and painful. All you could do is treat the infection and try and get your bloods down, although these seem to happen when it's a prolonged sugar high rather then the odd one here and there. If these aren't looked after or treated then they can develop into worse infections and later even in amputation if it's that bad. There are a lot of diabetics out there that have had horribly high bloods and horrible control for so long that things start to give, the feet is one.
But that's not the only thing that can happen, of course. As you know I have nerve damage, although now it's getting better, it was so bad at one point that I couldn't feel most of my feet, so that mean what I was walking on. One huge factor of this is you can't feel the infection growing at first only when it's bad, but also you can't feel when your shoes don't fit properly. I had huge amount of blisters, so much so that I now have scars on my little toes and the back of my heels for them. Now blisters normally aren't to bad, just annoying and painful, sometimes you have to go through the pain to break in a good pair of shoes, that's life, but you have to watch them and be careful. I couldn't feel them at all at one stage just like not feeling the infections. Because of this I would go on wearing the shoes all day, often when you know you might get blister you either pack another pair of shoes or you buy another cheap pair. There where several occasion where I'd be out all day not notice that they had been building and then get home to find that I had blood in my show, there's only so much the skin can take from friction. Obviously this was bad, but you would just go on a deal with the situation, not wear those shoes again for a while, then try again until they where broken in. (and I'm not talking heels or sandal types here more like the converse/trainer types) But there was this once when I went to visit family in Canada, just had to have these cool trainers and I wore them for the rest of the trip and didn't notice that a blister was forming and getting bigger, after a while I did and tried to sort it out, it was healing. It was one of the first days back home and I hadn't been doing much in the day, leg was hurting a bit but didn't take much notice, until later that evening we when to the shop to get something for dinner and I couldn't put weight on my heel.
When we got home Ma had a look and was horrified. I had this huge blister that wasn't a blister so much any more and redness and swelling going down my foot and up the back of my leg. It looked like I had blood poisoning. I could loose my leg if it wasn't treated soon. So we went to the A&E. Turns out it wasn't blood poisoning (so lucky with that!) and all they did was take the dead skin off and bandage it up, told me to keep it clean and look after it. But because of that I am so paranoid about blisters now, I'd never want it to get that bad again, all because I couldn't feel it happening until it got too bad.
If you can't feel what your wearing on your feet then you should be doubly looking after them, keeping them clean and making sure if anything does happen that it gets looked after properly and straight away. It's easy for things to get bad and then that's when it get worse. I was extremely lucky, I could easily have lost my foot because of my stupidity.
This is why the doctors look at your feet and lecture you about their care. So I'll say it too. Look After Your Feet!.
They high sugars can cause lots of things, like we have discussed through out this blog and another way for the body to show signs is infections. Little infections on the side of the nail, real painful and can bet worse real quick if not looked after. I used to always have one some where on one of my toes, not often on the big toes but they where a constant and painful. All you could do is treat the infection and try and get your bloods down, although these seem to happen when it's a prolonged sugar high rather then the odd one here and there. If these aren't looked after or treated then they can develop into worse infections and later even in amputation if it's that bad. There are a lot of diabetics out there that have had horribly high bloods and horrible control for so long that things start to give, the feet is one.
But that's not the only thing that can happen, of course. As you know I have nerve damage, although now it's getting better, it was so bad at one point that I couldn't feel most of my feet, so that mean what I was walking on. One huge factor of this is you can't feel the infection growing at first only when it's bad, but also you can't feel when your shoes don't fit properly. I had huge amount of blisters, so much so that I now have scars on my little toes and the back of my heels for them. Now blisters normally aren't to bad, just annoying and painful, sometimes you have to go through the pain to break in a good pair of shoes, that's life, but you have to watch them and be careful. I couldn't feel them at all at one stage just like not feeling the infections. Because of this I would go on wearing the shoes all day, often when you know you might get blister you either pack another pair of shoes or you buy another cheap pair. There where several occasion where I'd be out all day not notice that they had been building and then get home to find that I had blood in my show, there's only so much the skin can take from friction. Obviously this was bad, but you would just go on a deal with the situation, not wear those shoes again for a while, then try again until they where broken in. (and I'm not talking heels or sandal types here more like the converse/trainer types) But there was this once when I went to visit family in Canada, just had to have these cool trainers and I wore them for the rest of the trip and didn't notice that a blister was forming and getting bigger, after a while I did and tried to sort it out, it was healing. It was one of the first days back home and I hadn't been doing much in the day, leg was hurting a bit but didn't take much notice, until later that evening we when to the shop to get something for dinner and I couldn't put weight on my heel.
When we got home Ma had a look and was horrified. I had this huge blister that wasn't a blister so much any more and redness and swelling going down my foot and up the back of my leg. It looked like I had blood poisoning. I could loose my leg if it wasn't treated soon. So we went to the A&E. Turns out it wasn't blood poisoning (so lucky with that!) and all they did was take the dead skin off and bandage it up, told me to keep it clean and look after it. But because of that I am so paranoid about blisters now, I'd never want it to get that bad again, all because I couldn't feel it happening until it got too bad.
If you can't feel what your wearing on your feet then you should be doubly looking after them, keeping them clean and making sure if anything does happen that it gets looked after properly and straight away. It's easy for things to get bad and then that's when it get worse. I was extremely lucky, I could easily have lost my foot because of my stupidity.
This is why the doctors look at your feet and lecture you about their care. So I'll say it too. Look After Your Feet!.
Sunday 13 September 2015
Nails
Like a lot of people out there I like to look after my nails. They are the only thing now a days that I can do what ever I like with, long, short any colour, because of work now. But like anything on the body they are one of the things to suffer when you get sick, no matter what you have, if your ill long enough they start to show it.
I like to have my nails long, not to much so, but I prefer them that way. I keep the nail varnish nice, make sure it's not chipping. Buff, trim and moisturise and do a general care every time I repaint them. But it was really hard to keep them nice and try to grow them long when I was ill. Having been so ill for so long made them brittle and hard to look after. They started to warp too. You could really tell on my thumb nails, going slightly wavy and getting worse the longer I stayed ill.
They snapped so easily and in such jagged ways too, nothing seemed to help. I used strengtheners and special gels but it was all useless.
But when I got better my nails stopped breaking so much, they still do now and then, but when you work in retail they have a habit of doing that and now that I'm out of retail stabbing hard surfaces with your finger doesn't help matters either (I have a bad habit of doing that for some reason). But they don't break spontaneously. They look healthy, I didn't realise that nails could look sick and that mine did, until they weren't anymore.
You have to keep them healthy just like anything else on your body. I might take better care of mine then most people, or go a little over board in caring for them now, but I don't want to end up with them being like they where. I don't ware false nails because even though gel is better then acrylic they still damage the nail bed. I might ware nail varnish a lot, but I do all I can to protect them as much as possible from the varnish.
It's hard looking after something you never thought could be a problem to start with. All these small things that go wrong that you never think would be linked all add up in the end.
I think we take the small things for granted in everything, but it's the small things that count in the end.
I like to have my nails long, not to much so, but I prefer them that way. I keep the nail varnish nice, make sure it's not chipping. Buff, trim and moisturise and do a general care every time I repaint them. But it was really hard to keep them nice and try to grow them long when I was ill. Having been so ill for so long made them brittle and hard to look after. They started to warp too. You could really tell on my thumb nails, going slightly wavy and getting worse the longer I stayed ill.
They snapped so easily and in such jagged ways too, nothing seemed to help. I used strengtheners and special gels but it was all useless.
But when I got better my nails stopped breaking so much, they still do now and then, but when you work in retail they have a habit of doing that and now that I'm out of retail stabbing hard surfaces with your finger doesn't help matters either (I have a bad habit of doing that for some reason). But they don't break spontaneously. They look healthy, I didn't realise that nails could look sick and that mine did, until they weren't anymore.
You have to keep them healthy just like anything else on your body. I might take better care of mine then most people, or go a little over board in caring for them now, but I don't want to end up with them being like they where. I don't ware false nails because even though gel is better then acrylic they still damage the nail bed. I might ware nail varnish a lot, but I do all I can to protect them as much as possible from the varnish.
It's hard looking after something you never thought could be a problem to start with. All these small things that go wrong that you never think would be linked all add up in the end.
I think we take the small things for granted in everything, but it's the small things that count in the end.
Monday 31 August 2015
Medic Alerts
Medic Alerts are wonderful things to have for all kinds of problems. But being diabetic we defiantly need something along those lines.
There are several different companies and several different formats you can get medic alerts from. It can take awhile to find the one that is best for you, it can also get expensive while finding this out but the great thing is now a days there is a great variety out there that when I was younger i never had.
I first started with a necklace, it was a nice silver one with one of the saints on the front, you could unscrew the front and there was a folded up piece of paper with my details on, but it broke at school one day and the teacher being nice offered to fix it for me, I never got it back.
Then I moved on to bracelets, I had this lovely silver on with the inscription on the back of a flat silver plate with the medic alert symbol on the front but that soon went so I moved onto a kind of sports Velcro bracelet that had a small silver plate with the symbol on that you could flip over and it had my information inscribed on the back, I still have that one, I went through several different colours of that type but I still have my black one.
I finally got to the point where I felt I didn't need one, all the people that I hung around with, my family and teachers knew I was diabetic so why should I need one. Which is a stupid outlook because just because someone knows you have diabetes doesn't mean they know how to help if something goes wrong, like wise if something did happen you might not be with people that do know what is wrong and can help (there was this one time when it was bad and I was on my own and people just thought I was on a bad high). It pays to be cautious.
Medic alerts may seem stupid or not very fashionable but they are there for a reason, to help you. I got around my problem of not liking them, because at the time I didn't like the look of any of them and the one or two I did happen to like where so ridiculously expensive it was stupid. So for my very first tattoo I got a medic alert. Now I'm not saying that's for everyone and not always a great solution to finding the right one, but it worked for me. It will always be with me, in plain sight and I can never forget it or loose it.
They seem like such a small thing but they can help in a big way, if you don't have one, please have a serious look into getting one, you can find several nice ones for a good price and what's a bit of money when it could one day save your life. You can't hope for the best for every situation.
I can't help but think if I had carried one with me for most of my teens that maybe in one or two situation I would of got the help I needed (they the before mentioned bad trip). I wouldn't have got so bad, because when you do get to those stages you can't help yourself.
There are several different companies and several different formats you can get medic alerts from. It can take awhile to find the one that is best for you, it can also get expensive while finding this out but the great thing is now a days there is a great variety out there that when I was younger i never had.
I first started with a necklace, it was a nice silver one with one of the saints on the front, you could unscrew the front and there was a folded up piece of paper with my details on, but it broke at school one day and the teacher being nice offered to fix it for me, I never got it back.
Then I moved on to bracelets, I had this lovely silver on with the inscription on the back of a flat silver plate with the medic alert symbol on the front but that soon went so I moved onto a kind of sports Velcro bracelet that had a small silver plate with the symbol on that you could flip over and it had my information inscribed on the back, I still have that one, I went through several different colours of that type but I still have my black one.
I finally got to the point where I felt I didn't need one, all the people that I hung around with, my family and teachers knew I was diabetic so why should I need one. Which is a stupid outlook because just because someone knows you have diabetes doesn't mean they know how to help if something goes wrong, like wise if something did happen you might not be with people that do know what is wrong and can help (there was this one time when it was bad and I was on my own and people just thought I was on a bad high). It pays to be cautious.
Medic alerts may seem stupid or not very fashionable but they are there for a reason, to help you. I got around my problem of not liking them, because at the time I didn't like the look of any of them and the one or two I did happen to like where so ridiculously expensive it was stupid. So for my very first tattoo I got a medic alert. Now I'm not saying that's for everyone and not always a great solution to finding the right one, but it worked for me. It will always be with me, in plain sight and I can never forget it or loose it.
They seem like such a small thing but they can help in a big way, if you don't have one, please have a serious look into getting one, you can find several nice ones for a good price and what's a bit of money when it could one day save your life. You can't hope for the best for every situation.
I can't help but think if I had carried one with me for most of my teens that maybe in one or two situation I would of got the help I needed (they the before mentioned bad trip). I wouldn't have got so bad, because when you do get to those stages you can't help yourself.
Sunday 16 August 2015
Getting Metal.
Getting piercings can be fun and cool looking, but you have to be careful on so many things when getting them and we diabetics have to be doubly careful.
Getting my first piercing was a real hassle, I was in primary and I really wanted to get my ears pierced, Ma held out for as long as she deemed fit and then for my 10th birthday I had my ears pierced at our local hair dressers.
It took a long time for Ma to get the letter from the Doctors to say I was okay to get them done, we had to go through a lot of hoops to get that letter, but it was so totally worth it and I was so happy.
But when I started to get really ill my ears would get infected, I developed a really bad reaction to anything but silver, it was a real pain and .. well .. painful too. You see, not having control over your sugars can send everything thing else spinning, including piercing. That why I contemplated taking them out and getting them done again at a later date, which I never did.
So when I wanted to get my lip pierced, Ma made me a deal (which she thought I'd either fail at or not go through with) and said if I could keep my bloods in control for a whole year she would pay for it to be done for my 16th. I worked hard for it and I still have it pierced. Ma was not happy that day, but a deals a deal.
It was hard to go through it all and not being able to lay on your side because your ears are to painful isn't worth all the hassle when they can stay lovely when your bloods are all in control, My lip (knock on wood) has never been infected and that's because I've worked hard to keep everything on the level. It was hard work at the start and I had to clean it several times a day for a long time while I was trying to get everything in control. It was hard work and even though I wanted more, I waited until I was more stable.
You have to remember that a piercing is still an open wound all prettied up and you have to take care of it, so when you can't control your bloods, how can you take care of it properly? Why go through all the pain, hassle and money to get it done and then have to take it out just because you couldn't be bothered to look after yourself. You can cause real damage that way.
So when your thinking about getting some metal. not only do you have to think about what your getting and what type, there is also the place your getting it at, because if they don't have the right certificates, it doesn't matter how careful you are, infection could be the last of your problems. Always do your research and always make sure your healthy enough.
Getting my first piercing was a real hassle, I was in primary and I really wanted to get my ears pierced, Ma held out for as long as she deemed fit and then for my 10th birthday I had my ears pierced at our local hair dressers.
It took a long time for Ma to get the letter from the Doctors to say I was okay to get them done, we had to go through a lot of hoops to get that letter, but it was so totally worth it and I was so happy.
But when I started to get really ill my ears would get infected, I developed a really bad reaction to anything but silver, it was a real pain and .. well .. painful too. You see, not having control over your sugars can send everything thing else spinning, including piercing. That why I contemplated taking them out and getting them done again at a later date, which I never did.
So when I wanted to get my lip pierced, Ma made me a deal (which she thought I'd either fail at or not go through with) and said if I could keep my bloods in control for a whole year she would pay for it to be done for my 16th. I worked hard for it and I still have it pierced. Ma was not happy that day, but a deals a deal.
It was hard to go through it all and not being able to lay on your side because your ears are to painful isn't worth all the hassle when they can stay lovely when your bloods are all in control, My lip (knock on wood) has never been infected and that's because I've worked hard to keep everything on the level. It was hard work at the start and I had to clean it several times a day for a long time while I was trying to get everything in control. It was hard work and even though I wanted more, I waited until I was more stable.
You have to remember that a piercing is still an open wound all prettied up and you have to take care of it, so when you can't control your bloods, how can you take care of it properly? Why go through all the pain, hassle and money to get it done and then have to take it out just because you couldn't be bothered to look after yourself. You can cause real damage that way.
So when your thinking about getting some metal. not only do you have to think about what your getting and what type, there is also the place your getting it at, because if they don't have the right certificates, it doesn't matter how careful you are, infection could be the last of your problems. Always do your research and always make sure your healthy enough.
Sunday 9 August 2015
Teeth
Nobody really thinks about the impact on the teeth. Medicine can a profound effect on your teeth, as well as other things.
I teeth weren't in the greatest of conditions to begin with, but when my sugars started to go out of control, I didn't notice that why were getting a little worse, then add on the whole fact of the throwing up when the DKA hit every 6 months, that really puts things on a downward spiral.
They went a horrible glow in the dark yellow, I didn't like smiling wide, or showing my teeth. Things didn't help with all the kinds of medication I was on, or they would pump into me. Teeth may be strong in some respect but are the first to show signs of things happening.
You have to look after your mouth, once the enamel has gone, it doesn't come back, most of mine has gone, if any is still there. My teeth with always have a yellow tint, even though I try very hard to look after them and they are whiter now. You can't help medication, sometimes it's just a side effect. All you can do is try your best in that case. But keeping control can help a lot, keeps the sugar content down, less damage can be done.
But you got to think, it's not just your teeth. Once they start going so does other things and having nice breath will go right out the window. Some of that was from being ill, but a lot is from the mouth just not being looked after properly and swilling mouth wash ain't gunna cut it. It may help, but not properly.
Some people don't care all that much, but you can tell a lot about a person from their teeth. It's a major part of you that everyone sees, no matter how hard you try you can't hide those babies. And once they are gone, their gone.
It's not hard to look after them, and it's not hard looking after your sugars either. Somethings can't be helped, but the little things matter and they can add up real quick when you let things slip.
Having those pearly whites aren't in the cards for me, but I sure try my best to look after them as much as I can. At least I worry about how I smile ... or laugh for that matter, any more.
Diabetes may be a hidden disease but it sure can have a very obvious effect on things thats aren't hidden.
I teeth weren't in the greatest of conditions to begin with, but when my sugars started to go out of control, I didn't notice that why were getting a little worse, then add on the whole fact of the throwing up when the DKA hit every 6 months, that really puts things on a downward spiral.
They went a horrible glow in the dark yellow, I didn't like smiling wide, or showing my teeth. Things didn't help with all the kinds of medication I was on, or they would pump into me. Teeth may be strong in some respect but are the first to show signs of things happening.
You have to look after your mouth, once the enamel has gone, it doesn't come back, most of mine has gone, if any is still there. My teeth with always have a yellow tint, even though I try very hard to look after them and they are whiter now. You can't help medication, sometimes it's just a side effect. All you can do is try your best in that case. But keeping control can help a lot, keeps the sugar content down, less damage can be done.
But you got to think, it's not just your teeth. Once they start going so does other things and having nice breath will go right out the window. Some of that was from being ill, but a lot is from the mouth just not being looked after properly and swilling mouth wash ain't gunna cut it. It may help, but not properly.
Some people don't care all that much, but you can tell a lot about a person from their teeth. It's a major part of you that everyone sees, no matter how hard you try you can't hide those babies. And once they are gone, their gone.
It's not hard to look after them, and it's not hard looking after your sugars either. Somethings can't be helped, but the little things matter and they can add up real quick when you let things slip.
Having those pearly whites aren't in the cards for me, but I sure try my best to look after them as much as I can. At least I worry about how I smile ... or laugh for that matter, any more.
Diabetes may be a hidden disease but it sure can have a very obvious effect on things thats aren't hidden.
Sunday 2 August 2015
Talking about medication
Most diabetics will have at least one time in their lives been or will be on Metformin.
When I was younger and the crap started to happen I became insulin resistant, the doctors put me on metformin. Metformin has loads of things it can help with, they big thing is helping to regulate blood sugars and insulin absorption, but can help in the protection of various organs among other things. But like any drug it has side effects. One of them being nausea. When the doctors first put me on it, and not a very high dose either, it made me feel very ill, stomach hurt all the time, even turning me off food. So I was taken off that pretty quickly.
But when I got older and started to take care of myself they tried again. I was wary at first because of the first time and again I did feel ill, but I fought through it and have even upped the dose this time to try and help. I'll tell you this, it helps a hell of a lot and when I forget to take the morning tablets it reflects in the days sugars.
Although it can be a pain to get used to, it certainly has helped be a great lot. I was reading up on it earlier, just so I had my facts straight (it's been years now so I wasn't sure if I had everything right) and the very first description said that it was only for type 2 diabetics, which made me laugh.
So if your doc want's to put you on metformin certainly give it a good go, it can have such a drastic effect on everything and help so much. But only if it's right for you, just because it helps me and lots of other people, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. It's a big deal in the diabetic world so I thought I'd put my two cents in.
Sorry it's such a short post this time.
When I was younger and the crap started to happen I became insulin resistant, the doctors put me on metformin. Metformin has loads of things it can help with, they big thing is helping to regulate blood sugars and insulin absorption, but can help in the protection of various organs among other things. But like any drug it has side effects. One of them being nausea. When the doctors first put me on it, and not a very high dose either, it made me feel very ill, stomach hurt all the time, even turning me off food. So I was taken off that pretty quickly.
But when I got older and started to take care of myself they tried again. I was wary at first because of the first time and again I did feel ill, but I fought through it and have even upped the dose this time to try and help. I'll tell you this, it helps a hell of a lot and when I forget to take the morning tablets it reflects in the days sugars.
Although it can be a pain to get used to, it certainly has helped be a great lot. I was reading up on it earlier, just so I had my facts straight (it's been years now so I wasn't sure if I had everything right) and the very first description said that it was only for type 2 diabetics, which made me laugh.
So if your doc want's to put you on metformin certainly give it a good go, it can have such a drastic effect on everything and help so much. But only if it's right for you, just because it helps me and lots of other people, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. It's a big deal in the diabetic world so I thought I'd put my two cents in.
Sorry it's such a short post this time.
Sunday 26 July 2015
Having an Immune system is so overrated... or not
Being Diabetic means a lot of things, one major draw back is the nearly nonexistent immune system. It wasn't so bad when I was younger and more on top of my control but as soon as the control slipped and my levels went up the little bit of protection I had, left.
I would get every single cold and flu going around. The one time I had the flu vacc I was ill for a month (I haven't had it since and knock on wood still going strong), having the flu was what they think set off the first DKA admission that started the whole 'crap hitting the fan' years.
But it was one of the first years I was trying to get everything sorted and back on track that I got quit ill around my birthday, at first it was a cold and like most cold I have had it moved into the flu but this time it didn't get better. I got very bad with fevers and the whole shubang. Ma got very worried and finally bullied me to hospital (I must have been bad to let myself get taken in, I dig in my claws and hold on for dear life before letting myself get taken in).
Turned out it wasn't the flu it was pneumonia. It was horrible, I never felt warm, bone cold and couldn't stop shivering. But it got sorted and I was let out of the hospital and all was well.
It was a few weeks late once all the antibiotics had gotten out my system and I started feeling the same again, bone cold and couldn't stop the full body shivers but sweating so much that I'd drench through the t-shirts I'd wear to bed. I could hardly move and I couldn't sleep properly, mostly because waking up in a puddle of your own sweat is so horrible. I felt terrible and lost.
Ma took me back to the hospital, but they couldn't find anything wrong so they gave me more antibiotics and that was that.
It worked for a little while but as soon as the antibiotics where out my system everything would come crashing back.
The doctors started testing my for everything, weird and wonderful even if it was a long shot, to no avail.
It took 6 months for them to find out what was wrong, by that time my body was trying to fit off what ever was happening on it's own. After all the testing for all the wonderful diseases out there turned out it was just a simple water infection that nobody picked up on when I had the pneumonia. But untreated with the right antibiotics for so long has caused long term damage and now I have to take long term antibiotics.
If I don't take them my fevers come back and everything goes to shit again.
Diabetics don't have the best immune system to begin with, but if we don't look after ourselves and our control then it will all but disappear, leaving the body open to the smallest but deadliest things. I never would have thought a simple water infection could cause so much damage let alone long term damage too. I haven't said this directly in a while, but please look after yourselves. You don't wont to go through the soaking nights and body shakes that hurt so much. It's so much easier looking after yourself.
I would get every single cold and flu going around. The one time I had the flu vacc I was ill for a month (I haven't had it since and knock on wood still going strong), having the flu was what they think set off the first DKA admission that started the whole 'crap hitting the fan' years.
But it was one of the first years I was trying to get everything sorted and back on track that I got quit ill around my birthday, at first it was a cold and like most cold I have had it moved into the flu but this time it didn't get better. I got very bad with fevers and the whole shubang. Ma got very worried and finally bullied me to hospital (I must have been bad to let myself get taken in, I dig in my claws and hold on for dear life before letting myself get taken in).
Turned out it wasn't the flu it was pneumonia. It was horrible, I never felt warm, bone cold and couldn't stop shivering. But it got sorted and I was let out of the hospital and all was well.
It was a few weeks late once all the antibiotics had gotten out my system and I started feeling the same again, bone cold and couldn't stop the full body shivers but sweating so much that I'd drench through the t-shirts I'd wear to bed. I could hardly move and I couldn't sleep properly, mostly because waking up in a puddle of your own sweat is so horrible. I felt terrible and lost.
Ma took me back to the hospital, but they couldn't find anything wrong so they gave me more antibiotics and that was that.
It worked for a little while but as soon as the antibiotics where out my system everything would come crashing back.
The doctors started testing my for everything, weird and wonderful even if it was a long shot, to no avail.
It took 6 months for them to find out what was wrong, by that time my body was trying to fit off what ever was happening on it's own. After all the testing for all the wonderful diseases out there turned out it was just a simple water infection that nobody picked up on when I had the pneumonia. But untreated with the right antibiotics for so long has caused long term damage and now I have to take long term antibiotics.
If I don't take them my fevers come back and everything goes to shit again.
Diabetics don't have the best immune system to begin with, but if we don't look after ourselves and our control then it will all but disappear, leaving the body open to the smallest but deadliest things. I never would have thought a simple water infection could cause so much damage let alone long term damage too. I haven't said this directly in a while, but please look after yourselves. You don't wont to go through the soaking nights and body shakes that hurt so much. It's so much easier looking after yourself.
Sunday 19 July 2015
All the pain.
Following on from last week with the whole nerve damage, obviously it was a great pain in the butt, but not anything like what it would soon turn into.
I started getting this horrible pain in my legs while I was visiting family in Canada, not only the pain but horrible swelling too, so much so that I would have to lay on my back with my legs in the air for 20 minuets or so just so I could get my jeans off. At the time I didn't think much of it, Calgary is at a different altitude then England so swelling is more likely to happen.
But the pain got worse and by the time I got home it had traveled into my hips and lower back. I went to my doctors to see if they could help. I was very lucky my doctor took me seriously, kept sending me for every test and scan that was out there to try and find out what was wrong. In the mean time the pain kept growing, my skin got so very sensitive, I could barely stand anything to touch my legs at all. It traveled up my back and around my ribs, I had to stop wearing wire rimmed bras turning to bikini tops instead as they could be loosed, and I stopped eating.
It hurt to eat, no just aching but horrible stabbing every time I ate anything solid. I had to make do with supplemented drinks, although they hurt too it was nothing like when it was solid. Because of this I lost a lot of weight.
We finally found out that I had Fibromyalgia which is a disorder characterized by widespread pain in the fibrous tissue and muscle often accompanied by chronic fatigue.
By the time I found out I was bed bound. Couldn't walk without crying and defiantly couldn't walk on my own, even to walk 2 meters to the loo I had to have a walking stick and half the time someone to lean on. I could no longer have baths (it has taken me years to be able to have a normal bath, although the water that feels very hot to me, feels quit cold to normal people) and I wasn't aloud to be alone when I had a shower, just in case.
All of that was very annoying, especially the food, but the most frustrating was the walking, it hurt so bad and I couldn't go far, a change of scenery was to hobble from my bedroom to my mum to watch TV.
The doctor put me on very strong painkillers and sensitivity tablets, which helped a lot, which in turn gave me the strength to try and walk further each day and soon short distances without help. The thing with Fibromyalgia is that yes it hurts, hurt sooo bad, but the more you move the less it hurts over time. You have to be willing to put your mind to it and get over that initial hump of pain to get started, but it's all up hill from there.
I did have my own walking stick for a long time (all decked out of course) and for the longest time I did have to lean on someone for support, but 3 years after I was diagnosed (we had moved house by then) I was walking past one of the charity shops that was looking for volunteers and decided I'd had enough and went in to apply.
For the next year I worked for a hour 3 times a week, walking in and back home to get myself stronger and ready to go back to work. It hurt and it took everything I had to keep going in but a little over a year from my start I got a normal retail job.
I still have my bad days and I still hurt after a long day of work, that will never go away, but I no longer need the help of a walking stick or a person to lean on when I walk, recently I've only had one horrible day where I couldn't go to work. I've a normal diet (although once I did started to eat normally again I gained a lot of weight) and unless it is one of those absolutely horrible days I don't need to use my meds anymore, which is so rare now and the only real skin sensitivity I have now is water temperature.
It's a horrible thing to have and I will never be rid of it, but it is manageable, it is so easy just to give up and give in to the pain, but you can't do that to yourself. I did later find out that because of the nerve damage I had that triggered something that brought on the fibromyalgia. I am still very grateful to my doctor though, because he kept on looking and he believed me, not a lot of doctors believe in fibromyalgia although more do now then they did.
I started getting this horrible pain in my legs while I was visiting family in Canada, not only the pain but horrible swelling too, so much so that I would have to lay on my back with my legs in the air for 20 minuets or so just so I could get my jeans off. At the time I didn't think much of it, Calgary is at a different altitude then England so swelling is more likely to happen.
But the pain got worse and by the time I got home it had traveled into my hips and lower back. I went to my doctors to see if they could help. I was very lucky my doctor took me seriously, kept sending me for every test and scan that was out there to try and find out what was wrong. In the mean time the pain kept growing, my skin got so very sensitive, I could barely stand anything to touch my legs at all. It traveled up my back and around my ribs, I had to stop wearing wire rimmed bras turning to bikini tops instead as they could be loosed, and I stopped eating.
It hurt to eat, no just aching but horrible stabbing every time I ate anything solid. I had to make do with supplemented drinks, although they hurt too it was nothing like when it was solid. Because of this I lost a lot of weight.
We finally found out that I had Fibromyalgia which is a disorder characterized by widespread pain in the fibrous tissue and muscle often accompanied by chronic fatigue.
By the time I found out I was bed bound. Couldn't walk without crying and defiantly couldn't walk on my own, even to walk 2 meters to the loo I had to have a walking stick and half the time someone to lean on. I could no longer have baths (it has taken me years to be able to have a normal bath, although the water that feels very hot to me, feels quit cold to normal people) and I wasn't aloud to be alone when I had a shower, just in case.
All of that was very annoying, especially the food, but the most frustrating was the walking, it hurt so bad and I couldn't go far, a change of scenery was to hobble from my bedroom to my mum to watch TV.
The doctor put me on very strong painkillers and sensitivity tablets, which helped a lot, which in turn gave me the strength to try and walk further each day and soon short distances without help. The thing with Fibromyalgia is that yes it hurts, hurt sooo bad, but the more you move the less it hurts over time. You have to be willing to put your mind to it and get over that initial hump of pain to get started, but it's all up hill from there.
I did have my own walking stick for a long time (all decked out of course) and for the longest time I did have to lean on someone for support, but 3 years after I was diagnosed (we had moved house by then) I was walking past one of the charity shops that was looking for volunteers and decided I'd had enough and went in to apply.
For the next year I worked for a hour 3 times a week, walking in and back home to get myself stronger and ready to go back to work. It hurt and it took everything I had to keep going in but a little over a year from my start I got a normal retail job.
I still have my bad days and I still hurt after a long day of work, that will never go away, but I no longer need the help of a walking stick or a person to lean on when I walk, recently I've only had one horrible day where I couldn't go to work. I've a normal diet (although once I did started to eat normally again I gained a lot of weight) and unless it is one of those absolutely horrible days I don't need to use my meds anymore, which is so rare now and the only real skin sensitivity I have now is water temperature.
It's a horrible thing to have and I will never be rid of it, but it is manageable, it is so easy just to give up and give in to the pain, but you can't do that to yourself. I did later find out that because of the nerve damage I had that triggered something that brought on the fibromyalgia. I am still very grateful to my doctor though, because he kept on looking and he believed me, not a lot of doctors believe in fibromyalgia although more do now then they did.
Sunday 12 July 2015
To Have the Nerve..
This week I'm going to talk about Nerve damage.
I have nerve damage in my lower legs, from the knees down and majorly in the bottom of my feet. It got so bad that it was difficult for me to walk purely because I couldn't feel where my feet where going. My legs weren't so bad, I had patches where I could feel and others not so much.
It was bad (apart from the obvious reasons) because at the time I used to get little infections on the side of my toenails, when your blood goes high and you start try and get out one way or another. So half the time I couldn't feel them happening and I couldn't feel blisters building (I've had 2 cases of very bad blisters, one I had to go to A & E for because we thought I had blood poisoning, couldn't put any pressure on my foot at all).
When things get that bad, your in the area of being in danger of having someone turn around one day and say we need to lop off that foot.
I have this bad habit of breaking my little toes (although knock on wood I haven't broken any toes in months) bless their little cotton soaks but they've slightly discoloured now from so many breaks and all the blisters, but at the time I couldn't feel the proper damage. My little toenails used to fall off because of the damage.
I stepped on a nail walking around town once, it wasn't till I got home that I realized that I had and not only that it had been poking me in the bottom of the foot too.
But also from this my circulation went to crap too, so my feet where always cold (not that I felt it) and my skin got so incredibly dry, so much so that I'd being smothering my feet with moisturizer on in the evening and I would wake up like nothing had been slapped on.
I started noticing that I was getting other places of numbness too, it started to spread.
I know thankfully don't have it as bad. It started to get better slowly but surly when my bloods started to get under control (and possibly when my Hypertension got under control to, it certainly helped the circulation). I still have the odd numb patch on my calf and shins and I don't think my feet will ever go back to normal .. as next week you will find out why, but everything has gotten so much better.
It was really quit scary for awhile, certainly when they thought I had the blood poisoning. It's horrible when you can't feel the floor when you walk. But now I feel every small blister blooming, which is both good and bad lol.
I never would have thought that my blood sugar control would have an impact on my nerves, certainly never thought I would have the troubles I did have. As diabetics we have to be soooo careful with our feet, it's so easy to forget the things we most rely on from day to day. They can't be fixed if their not there anymore.
But my nerve damage did trigger something else that both heightened and made things so much worse.
Please look after your feet, pretty shoes are very nice, but your feet are more important, so be careful.
I have nerve damage in my lower legs, from the knees down and majorly in the bottom of my feet. It got so bad that it was difficult for me to walk purely because I couldn't feel where my feet where going. My legs weren't so bad, I had patches where I could feel and others not so much.
It was bad (apart from the obvious reasons) because at the time I used to get little infections on the side of my toenails, when your blood goes high and you start try and get out one way or another. So half the time I couldn't feel them happening and I couldn't feel blisters building (I've had 2 cases of very bad blisters, one I had to go to A & E for because we thought I had blood poisoning, couldn't put any pressure on my foot at all).
When things get that bad, your in the area of being in danger of having someone turn around one day and say we need to lop off that foot.
I have this bad habit of breaking my little toes (although knock on wood I haven't broken any toes in months) bless their little cotton soaks but they've slightly discoloured now from so many breaks and all the blisters, but at the time I couldn't feel the proper damage. My little toenails used to fall off because of the damage.
I stepped on a nail walking around town once, it wasn't till I got home that I realized that I had and not only that it had been poking me in the bottom of the foot too.
But also from this my circulation went to crap too, so my feet where always cold (not that I felt it) and my skin got so incredibly dry, so much so that I'd being smothering my feet with moisturizer on in the evening and I would wake up like nothing had been slapped on.
I started noticing that I was getting other places of numbness too, it started to spread.
I know thankfully don't have it as bad. It started to get better slowly but surly when my bloods started to get under control (and possibly when my Hypertension got under control to, it certainly helped the circulation). I still have the odd numb patch on my calf and shins and I don't think my feet will ever go back to normal .. as next week you will find out why, but everything has gotten so much better.
It was really quit scary for awhile, certainly when they thought I had the blood poisoning. It's horrible when you can't feel the floor when you walk. But now I feel every small blister blooming, which is both good and bad lol.
I never would have thought that my blood sugar control would have an impact on my nerves, certainly never thought I would have the troubles I did have. As diabetics we have to be soooo careful with our feet, it's so easy to forget the things we most rely on from day to day. They can't be fixed if their not there anymore.
But my nerve damage did trigger something else that both heightened and made things so much worse.
Please look after your feet, pretty shoes are very nice, but your feet are more important, so be careful.
Sunday 5 July 2015
The Heart
Hypertension is another thing people need to look for. It doesn't seem like it would do much but have a high blood pressure, but it does a lot other then putting you pressure up.
I had Hypertension, luckily I don't have it anymore, although to begin with it was hard to know that I had it. I have a naturally a higher heart rate and because of that it's a little more dangerous because it puts it higher.
There isn't really a lot to say about Hypertension it's self, it's high blood pressure that the symptoms don't show for years. It can cause heart attacks and strokes if not looked after. But the good thing is, it's easy to control and look after (with the help of meds) once found.
With my blood being so high and my naturally high heart rate anyway things happened a bit quicker for me. I was put onto medication to try and help with the control. My body temperature ran quit high (I get cold a lot quicker now lol) and it would be hard for me to do high impact exercise because of how hard my heart had to work. It also was very dangerous when I was admitted to hospital with DKA, it would be working so hard it would feel like it was trying to drum out of my chest.
It was scary, but things got sorted and now it's nearly back to normal, I don't think it will ever go back to normal but at least it's not life threatening.
You need to look after your ticker. Keeping healthy and keeping your bloods under control can help that.
Sorry it's a really short one this week, but hope it's still helpful.
I had Hypertension, luckily I don't have it anymore, although to begin with it was hard to know that I had it. I have a naturally a higher heart rate and because of that it's a little more dangerous because it puts it higher.
There isn't really a lot to say about Hypertension it's self, it's high blood pressure that the symptoms don't show for years. It can cause heart attacks and strokes if not looked after. But the good thing is, it's easy to control and look after (with the help of meds) once found.
With my blood being so high and my naturally high heart rate anyway things happened a bit quicker for me. I was put onto medication to try and help with the control. My body temperature ran quit high (I get cold a lot quicker now lol) and it would be hard for me to do high impact exercise because of how hard my heart had to work. It also was very dangerous when I was admitted to hospital with DKA, it would be working so hard it would feel like it was trying to drum out of my chest.
It was scary, but things got sorted and now it's nearly back to normal, I don't think it will ever go back to normal but at least it's not life threatening.
You need to look after your ticker. Keeping healthy and keeping your bloods under control can help that.
Sorry it's a really short one this week, but hope it's still helpful.
Sunday 28 June 2015
Eyes 2
Hey so I know I talked about the whole eye thing last week but there where a few things that I didn't touch on last time.
As you know I have sight problems but there are two other things that have gone wrong with my eyes that relate to the health thing,
The first is Uveitis which is inflammation of any part of the eye, mine was in the iris. It gets very light sensitive, (it felt like the light was burning my eyes out of my head to be honest) it can also lead to blindness. It's something that happens spontaneously and there isn't a cure, just eye drops that are suppose to help. I had to wear sunglasses, but that didn't really help that much, it feels like one huge migraine. It can last a day or two and then not happen again for ages. Very hit and miss. A very painful hit and miss. I have no idea why it happened but it did pop up when my bloods where out of control, with my eyes already going down the 'lets not work properly' route I can only guess that it was helped along by that. I've been lucky to not have had an episode in a while, knock on wood.
The second is Horner's Syndrome which is a constriction of the pupil and Ptosis (which is dropping of the upper eyelid) while it effects the eye/s it's caused by a disorder of the sympathetic nerves in the brain-stem or neck. It's not so bad anymore, you can notice it a whole lot more when I'm very tired, ill or my bloods are going high again. It looks like I have crazy pupils though, one is huge and the other normal. It can be a right pain when you're trying to even out your eyeliner lol. Again not to sure where this popped up from, it have this weird nerve thing in my elbows, when I've got them bent for a little while my hands go numb, I've had the MRI's and CAT scans for that, but it's been around as long as my bloods where crazy, but this has stayed with me, better but still there.
I know it's been a rather short one this time, but I felt that these should be mentioned too because they are a side effect of everything that has happened and while somethings can go away with time, others to stick with you.
As you know I have sight problems but there are two other things that have gone wrong with my eyes that relate to the health thing,
The first is Uveitis which is inflammation of any part of the eye, mine was in the iris. It gets very light sensitive, (it felt like the light was burning my eyes out of my head to be honest) it can also lead to blindness. It's something that happens spontaneously and there isn't a cure, just eye drops that are suppose to help. I had to wear sunglasses, but that didn't really help that much, it feels like one huge migraine. It can last a day or two and then not happen again for ages. Very hit and miss. A very painful hit and miss. I have no idea why it happened but it did pop up when my bloods where out of control, with my eyes already going down the 'lets not work properly' route I can only guess that it was helped along by that. I've been lucky to not have had an episode in a while, knock on wood.
The second is Horner's Syndrome which is a constriction of the pupil and Ptosis (which is dropping of the upper eyelid) while it effects the eye/s it's caused by a disorder of the sympathetic nerves in the brain-stem or neck. It's not so bad anymore, you can notice it a whole lot more when I'm very tired, ill or my bloods are going high again. It looks like I have crazy pupils though, one is huge and the other normal. It can be a right pain when you're trying to even out your eyeliner lol. Again not to sure where this popped up from, it have this weird nerve thing in my elbows, when I've got them bent for a little while my hands go numb, I've had the MRI's and CAT scans for that, but it's been around as long as my bloods where crazy, but this has stayed with me, better but still there.
I know it's been a rather short one this time, but I felt that these should be mentioned too because they are a side effect of everything that has happened and while somethings can go away with time, others to stick with you.
Monday 22 June 2015
Eyes
There are many things that can go wrong with Diabetes and having DKA makes even more complications, apart form the obvious, your bloods being out of control. There are many long term affect that might not crop up straight away. I've been going through that the last 5 or 6 years now, although it seems to be settling down now (fingers crosses).
The first was and is my eye sight. Now at first I didn't really pay much attention to this, when I was small I had to wear glasses for a bit, although I did grow out of them, most of my family (if not just about all) wear glasses, so I just thought it was my family traits coming through.
I was 16 when I finally let myself be dragged to the opticians, not thinking much about it, turned out I had to have glasses, no biggie, it was going to happen at some point. I really didn't realize how bad my eyes where until I put the new spec's on, Everything was in HD (which is a stupid thought but true lol). I've got lots of different styles by now and although I go through the faze of wanting to get contacts I don't think I look the same without glasses now.
When my bloods are fine, it's not bad, although my eye sight has gotten worse over the years. But when my bloods are high, that's one of the first signs (apart from the normal, tiredness and thirst), my vision gets worse. Everything goes slightly fuzzy.
A few years ago, when I was working so hard to claw my bloods back down to normal, I went to my yearly opticians appointment. The guy found something bad at the back of my eye and referred me to the hospital eye clinic. I was curious but not scared. Turns out he thought I had a detached retina, I didn't, thank god, but I still wasn't lucky.
Because of my blood sugars being so drastically high for so long my body had started to grow extra blood vessels at the back of my eye so that my oxygen levels to the eye didn't drop. But my body doing that was putting my eye sight in danger, I was slowly .. well actually not that slowly I had a year and a half tops of sight left in my life.
That scared the absolute crap out of me, going blind. I sat there on my own and it just kept hitting me over and over again.
I was lucky that I went to the opticians when I did and that he noticed that something wasn't right (although what he thought it was turned out to be wrong it was still down to him for finding that something that was wrong). I had to have laser eye surgery.
Now the type I had isn't what people go through to correct their sight. You know that machine you have to sit behind while your'e getting your eyes examined, where the optician shines that light in your eye and the looking into the back of the eye. I had to sit at one of them, my chin in a holder and my forehead presses to a bar. The lady had me open up my eye as wide as I could, put numbing cream on the end of this little telescope thing and rested it onto my eyeball.
That telescope thing was to focus the laser toward the back of my eye so that she could burn the extra blood vessels away.
It was one of the most painful things I've ever had to go through. My eye sight was red for a good few hours, light sensitive and a massive headache and had to find my own way home, try getting on 2 different buses with the worst hangover headache ever and you kinda know what I was going through lol.
I'm lucky the treatment worked and I'm extra lucky because I only had to go through it once. (I danced out of the clinic when the Doc said I didn't need another treatment) But my out of control blood sugars had caused my body to try and help it's self which in turn actually hurt me.
You need to be so careful with your eyes. I never would have imagined that my blood sugar control could so effect my eyes. It's the things that you don't notice or don't think twice about that end up causing the most trouble. You should alway go to the Diabetic eye screening clinics (even though they can be a right pain) or even go to the opticians once a year just to keep on top of things.
I would never wish that pain on my worst enemies.
Please look after your eyes.
The first was and is my eye sight. Now at first I didn't really pay much attention to this, when I was small I had to wear glasses for a bit, although I did grow out of them, most of my family (if not just about all) wear glasses, so I just thought it was my family traits coming through.
I was 16 when I finally let myself be dragged to the opticians, not thinking much about it, turned out I had to have glasses, no biggie, it was going to happen at some point. I really didn't realize how bad my eyes where until I put the new spec's on, Everything was in HD (which is a stupid thought but true lol). I've got lots of different styles by now and although I go through the faze of wanting to get contacts I don't think I look the same without glasses now.
When my bloods are fine, it's not bad, although my eye sight has gotten worse over the years. But when my bloods are high, that's one of the first signs (apart from the normal, tiredness and thirst), my vision gets worse. Everything goes slightly fuzzy.
A few years ago, when I was working so hard to claw my bloods back down to normal, I went to my yearly opticians appointment. The guy found something bad at the back of my eye and referred me to the hospital eye clinic. I was curious but not scared. Turns out he thought I had a detached retina, I didn't, thank god, but I still wasn't lucky.
Because of my blood sugars being so drastically high for so long my body had started to grow extra blood vessels at the back of my eye so that my oxygen levels to the eye didn't drop. But my body doing that was putting my eye sight in danger, I was slowly .. well actually not that slowly I had a year and a half tops of sight left in my life.
That scared the absolute crap out of me, going blind. I sat there on my own and it just kept hitting me over and over again.
I was lucky that I went to the opticians when I did and that he noticed that something wasn't right (although what he thought it was turned out to be wrong it was still down to him for finding that something that was wrong). I had to have laser eye surgery.
Now the type I had isn't what people go through to correct their sight. You know that machine you have to sit behind while your'e getting your eyes examined, where the optician shines that light in your eye and the looking into the back of the eye. I had to sit at one of them, my chin in a holder and my forehead presses to a bar. The lady had me open up my eye as wide as I could, put numbing cream on the end of this little telescope thing and rested it onto my eyeball.
That telescope thing was to focus the laser toward the back of my eye so that she could burn the extra blood vessels away.
It was one of the most painful things I've ever had to go through. My eye sight was red for a good few hours, light sensitive and a massive headache and had to find my own way home, try getting on 2 different buses with the worst hangover headache ever and you kinda know what I was going through lol.
I'm lucky the treatment worked and I'm extra lucky because I only had to go through it once. (I danced out of the clinic when the Doc said I didn't need another treatment) But my out of control blood sugars had caused my body to try and help it's self which in turn actually hurt me.
You need to be so careful with your eyes. I never would have imagined that my blood sugar control could so effect my eyes. It's the things that you don't notice or don't think twice about that end up causing the most trouble. You should alway go to the Diabetic eye screening clinics (even though they can be a right pain) or even go to the opticians once a year just to keep on top of things.
I would never wish that pain on my worst enemies.
Please look after your eyes.
Tuesday 16 June 2015
The First Step
(sorry for this one being late, Forgive me!)
Ok so just touching back to last weeks post,
I want you all to understand that even though I put myself through all that crap, I got comfortable with the routine, which is so stupidly ridiculous I know. At the time the hospital was the only place I felt safe, not that I wasn't safe at home, I guess it was more safe from myself, I was stable and I got to spend time with my mum (not the most ideal place to have family time), Ma and I started talking more and getting on better, I would be well for a little while and then things would start crashing all over again, like a wave. It was that kind of process in my head.
I decided to get my act together. Now this wasn't one of those, I woke up one morning and realised what I'd been doing and I started to change my life tha very day kind of things. It had been playing on my mind for a while. I had lost major contact with a lot of my friends at school even though I was still going (well only half the time, I was in hospital or off ill the rest, or there was that one time I called in every day for a month pretending to be my mum, which later was my downfall as she is Canadian and I don't have her accent, in my defence she sounds like she has an English accent to me), The novelty of a sick friend had worn off and they didn't care so much, you truly find out who is your real friends when you go through something like that. My grade weren't the best either, even though i still passed my GCSE's and got higher grades then they predicted, I know I could have done so much better, if I wasn't and idiot and skipped school.
It was when I'f gone in for one of my hospital appointments (every 3 months in those days, they did want once a week but we couldn't get there that often) and the doctor was chewing around the same old speech, I'd gotten bored and was thinking about something, it obviously showed on my face. He stopped and looked at me properly for the first time in that whole appointment (I was the one they would all groan at when they saw my name on the list, different doctor each time) and he turned to me and said
'Alex, you are going to die, you are slowly and horribly killing your body, you wont live to see 21'
I'd gone in on my own that day, I was in my teens so it's not like I needed a hand to hold when I went, but I could have really used it that day. It was one of the few times a doctor has made me cry (I didn't do it in front of him, I went to the bathroom, how sad a cliched is that right)
I was 1^ when I heard that, I had 5 short years apparently and it was all because of me.
Know I'm not going to tell you that was the point I changed my whole life, bad habits die hard, but it was the point in my life that I asked for help. The help to try and sort out all that crap going around in my head, that was tinting the world.
So I got help, once a month I went to the hospital to talk to someone and it wasn't just about my Diabetes, it was anything and everything that I need to get out, (not everything but the major things at the time that was the most bothering).
That was the first step, admitting I needed help, going to my ma and asking her to help me to find the person or people that could help me.
It's hard to watch someone you love go through something hard and it's harder still to know it's themselves that are causing most of the trouble, but it doesn't matter how much you love them and try to help, in the end it's them that needs to admit that there's a problem and ask for the help, because then they are doing it for themselves and not any body else. 9 times out of 10 it will work and stick when it's them that makes the first move rather somebody else pushing it onto them.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm repeating myself, I just want you guys to understand where this can come from, why someone can stop looking taking the medication that is keeping them alive.
Saturday 6 June 2015
Bad Intentions
Getting DKA is bad, as I've already said. Getting DKA when you've been sick is horrible because not only are you feeling absolutely crappy from being ill but then your blood decide they no longer need to be nice and have a party and that sends you into DKA. Not very nice at all.
Like I've said I had my first stint with DKA when I got ill, the second time it happened all I can put it down to is I was still run down from the previous time and because of the whole puberty thing my hormones where all over the place coursing havoc and with insulin being a hormone itself they don't mix well. That time wasn't quite as bad as we knew what was happening, still hospital admitted but not for quite as long. Again I came out looking like death warmed over and still run down but better and ready to put all these episodes behind me, I was starting secondary school in the fall and I had to be ready and prepared.
All was fine for the first year, which was great, but something happened over that summer holiday and I don't really remember what. We'd gone to Canada to visit family had a great time, like any other visit, but that time I came back and had gained quit a bit of weight .. like 2 stone (thats around 28 pounds) .. I ballooned! I came back a different person (probably the new me devoured the old me!).
Things got hard for me after that. My friends didn't act any different, my school life wasn't really any different but boys only really saw me as the friend type after that and because of the drastic change of my appearance I had to get new clothes (now normally that would be cause for celebration but not when you've gone gone up 4 dress sizes and you want to cry for the rest of existence).
I got very bad emotionally very quickly.
But then I remembered what happened to me when I got DKA.
Now you're probably shouting at the screen .. No Alex you didn't!! .. well yes I did.
I started to purposefully not take my Insulin, it would only be the odd one here or there at first. At the time I was on a four a day injection plan. The long acting at night and 3 quick acting (one for each meal) at night. But it steadily got worse of course, it turned into only doing one injection a day. I got sick and it wasn't real quick either, I was having just enough insulin to get me through but it wasn't enough to survive on. So obviously I went into A and E with DKA .. I was in for about 5 days and I lost quit a bit of weight.
(Do you guys remember that big fad diet the Atkins diet? .. yes well that's just another name for DKA)
I was happy because I'd lost weight. But it didn't last long, because they put my insulin doses up thinking I wasn't having enough. Do you know what high doses of insulin can do to you? .. it make you hungry so you eat more so you have to inject more but then you feel hungrier, see where this is headed? .. One great big huge emotional catch 22.
I ate what I wanted, didn't really care what it was, hardly injected if at al I stopped doing blood tests all together because I didn't like seeing the numbers climb, I knew that shouldn't be that high that it was wrong and it upset me so I thought if i didn't do them at all then I wouldn't need to seem them so I wouldn't know if they where high or not basically slowly started to destroy my body, but not only my body, I wasn't the most happy person, I became clinically depressed and put on the happy pills. I was in and out of the hospital every 6 months, had to see the doctors every 3. Missed half of my school life and wasn't only screwing up my life right then but my future too.
I was young and had then mentality most of the young have, that want happen to me. My diabetic control was gone, the diabetic team I had didn't help in any manor. All they saw was a out of control teen and nobody wanted to deal with that, it was like they saw me coming and had the tape ready to play on loop.
My teen years where very dark for me. I didn't want to acknowledge what I was doing to myself wasn't the answer, it was a quick fix for a problem I didn't see any way out off (for a smart person I can be very dumb sometimes). This wasn't the solution, but part of the problem was that I didn't have someone to slap me out of it, to sit down and say What the bloody hell are you doing to yourself. My poor mum tried but we didn't really get on at the time and bless her she didn't really know how to say that, she was stressed out and frustrated so most things turned into verbal fights.
But at some point through all that it became less about the weight loss from hell but to rebellion, At that time it was the only thing I felt I had any real control over and it was truly my choice if I injected or not and at that time I didn't really care if I lived or died, it was my choice either way.
I did that for 5 whole years.
DKA isn't pretty, it's horrible and the effects it can have on your body are horrible too. But it's not only the side effects that happen right then, the build up of everything and having your bloods running at over 20 for 5 years can have devastating effects that might not show up for a few years.
I will always be haunted but what I chose to do, my life could have gone so differently, but then through everything I put myself through I honestly shouldn't be walking on this earth anymore. But I am. I made me the person I am today and maybe I am a stronger person today then I would have been.
I do NOT recommend what I did as a good idea!! DO NOT DO IT!!! Please take it from me .. learn from me .. I will tell you everything that went wrong all the problems I have had because of that choice, you don't want to go through what I did, It was hell!
Like I've said I had my first stint with DKA when I got ill, the second time it happened all I can put it down to is I was still run down from the previous time and because of the whole puberty thing my hormones where all over the place coursing havoc and with insulin being a hormone itself they don't mix well. That time wasn't quite as bad as we knew what was happening, still hospital admitted but not for quite as long. Again I came out looking like death warmed over and still run down but better and ready to put all these episodes behind me, I was starting secondary school in the fall and I had to be ready and prepared.
All was fine for the first year, which was great, but something happened over that summer holiday and I don't really remember what. We'd gone to Canada to visit family had a great time, like any other visit, but that time I came back and had gained quit a bit of weight .. like 2 stone (thats around 28 pounds) .. I ballooned! I came back a different person (probably the new me devoured the old me!).
Things got hard for me after that. My friends didn't act any different, my school life wasn't really any different but boys only really saw me as the friend type after that and because of the drastic change of my appearance I had to get new clothes (now normally that would be cause for celebration but not when you've gone gone up 4 dress sizes and you want to cry for the rest of existence).
I got very bad emotionally very quickly.
But then I remembered what happened to me when I got DKA.
Now you're probably shouting at the screen .. No Alex you didn't!! .. well yes I did.
I started to purposefully not take my Insulin, it would only be the odd one here or there at first. At the time I was on a four a day injection plan. The long acting at night and 3 quick acting (one for each meal) at night. But it steadily got worse of course, it turned into only doing one injection a day. I got sick and it wasn't real quick either, I was having just enough insulin to get me through but it wasn't enough to survive on. So obviously I went into A and E with DKA .. I was in for about 5 days and I lost quit a bit of weight.
(Do you guys remember that big fad diet the Atkins diet? .. yes well that's just another name for DKA)
I was happy because I'd lost weight. But it didn't last long, because they put my insulin doses up thinking I wasn't having enough. Do you know what high doses of insulin can do to you? .. it make you hungry so you eat more so you have to inject more but then you feel hungrier, see where this is headed? .. One great big huge emotional catch 22.
I ate what I wanted, didn't really care what it was, hardly injected if at al I stopped doing blood tests all together because I didn't like seeing the numbers climb, I knew that shouldn't be that high that it was wrong and it upset me so I thought if i didn't do them at all then I wouldn't need to seem them so I wouldn't know if they where high or not basically slowly started to destroy my body, but not only my body, I wasn't the most happy person, I became clinically depressed and put on the happy pills. I was in and out of the hospital every 6 months, had to see the doctors every 3. Missed half of my school life and wasn't only screwing up my life right then but my future too.
I was young and had then mentality most of the young have, that want happen to me. My diabetic control was gone, the diabetic team I had didn't help in any manor. All they saw was a out of control teen and nobody wanted to deal with that, it was like they saw me coming and had the tape ready to play on loop.
My teen years where very dark for me. I didn't want to acknowledge what I was doing to myself wasn't the answer, it was a quick fix for a problem I didn't see any way out off (for a smart person I can be very dumb sometimes). This wasn't the solution, but part of the problem was that I didn't have someone to slap me out of it, to sit down and say What the bloody hell are you doing to yourself. My poor mum tried but we didn't really get on at the time and bless her she didn't really know how to say that, she was stressed out and frustrated so most things turned into verbal fights.
But at some point through all that it became less about the weight loss from hell but to rebellion, At that time it was the only thing I felt I had any real control over and it was truly my choice if I injected or not and at that time I didn't really care if I lived or died, it was my choice either way.
I did that for 5 whole years.
DKA isn't pretty, it's horrible and the effects it can have on your body are horrible too. But it's not only the side effects that happen right then, the build up of everything and having your bloods running at over 20 for 5 years can have devastating effects that might not show up for a few years.
I will always be haunted but what I chose to do, my life could have gone so differently, but then through everything I put myself through I honestly shouldn't be walking on this earth anymore. But I am. I made me the person I am today and maybe I am a stronger person today then I would have been.
I do NOT recommend what I did as a good idea!! DO NOT DO IT!!! Please take it from me .. learn from me .. I will tell you everything that went wrong all the problems I have had because of that choice, you don't want to go through what I did, It was hell!
Sunday 31 May 2015
Injection Sites
I think people should be more aware of injection sites.
When the doctors tell you to rotate your injection sites DO, because if you don't lots of bad things can happen, trust me, I know.
From experience you can get very comfortable with a certain area, either for easy of access or it's less painful. It gets less painful because you can kill of the nerve endings in that site, so you don't always realize whats happening because the feeling isn't there anymore.
There's always the major risk of building up the insulin too. When you inject the insulin it absorbs into your body, if you inject into the same area each time (or the same few) then over time (and surprisingly it can be quick) the insulin builds up as it waits for the last lot to absorb, that's where the lumps come from. So you think your inject 10 units of insulin but in reality you might only be getting half of that because of the build up. So then you have to start injecting more and more to combat that which in turn makes the build up bigger and bigger, it's a real catch 22. I did this with my stomach when I was young. I disfigured my stomach horrible because of it, its taken nearly 20 years (and that's not exaggerating) to get back to a more normal shape, it's the one area of my body that I am most weary of. It also started to build up on my thighs to, but never as bad as my stomach.
Because of the build up and then because of the huge doses of insulin I had to inject, I became insulin resistant (which isn't what you need for an insulin dependent Diabetic lol)
But it isn't always injecting in the same sites that can build up insulin, it can also be the size of the needle your using.
Again when I was quite young I found the normal sized needles painful (I was stick thin, no meat on my bones at all) so my mum got specially ordered extra short needles, which was great for me because they didn't hurt as much, but the insulin wasn't going in deep enough so was taking longer to absorb. That also doesn't help with the lumps. So not only do you get the umps but you can also get bruising too and damage nerve endings.
Injecting isn't just dialing up how much insulin you need and sticking it into your body. It's a delicate balance that most forget about, but it can help so much for the future not only for your control but beings happy in yourself too.
Sunday 24 May 2015
The First Signs of Trouble
When I was young my Diabetes was great to control. I did every blood test that could fill the book, injected each time I was suppose to, never ate what I wasn't aloud. But it wasn't easy.
It's hard growing up and trying to be normal. You look normal, there isn't anything outwardly wrong with you, yet you can't do everything they can.
They would eat chocolate and sweets in front of me but at the time I wasn't aloud them. Having to go out of class and do my bloods and insulin (because it was a distraction to the other kids in class). But you make it work and you carry on. Of course you have good days and bad days, just like anyone else, and sometimes the kids would tease (one of the big things that would come up was about using my Diabetes as a tool to get out of classes).
Sometimes it's just because they don't understand what Diabetes is, so to help things I set up this mini workshop with my Diabetic nurse, she came to my school and during lunch she taught my friends what Diabetes was all about and even how to inject themselves. It helped with school life a lot because half the time my friends would notice my bloods dropping quicker then I would.
Primary school was easy when it came to my Diabetes, they where understanding and helped when they could, it also helped a lot that one of the teachers there happened to have a son who was Diabetic so she knew a lot to help when she could. It was when I started down the whole puberty route that things started to turn ugly. It's hard going through puberty at the best of things times but having your bloods out of control added on, not very peachy.
One night I was very sick, I couldn't stop throwing up, At first my mum thought it was something to do with left over stress from my exams (the judged what levels i would be placed in secondary school) but then as the night progressed and the vomiting didn't stop she started to think it was the flu or something along those lines. When it was morning and I was still ill ma took me to the hospital. Turns out that I had ketoacidosis. (It's when theres to much sugar in the blood and not enough insulin to combat with it, so the body uses fat instead, but form that you get something called ketones, to much of these and it starts to poison the body)
It was horrible and most of the time I wasn't awake enough to know what was going on. My friends from school came to visit, my mum and step dad stayed as long as they could everyday. I got better after a week or so, my insulin was adjusted and I was sent home. Things went back to normal.
I was still very tired the first few days home and i'd lost tones of weight (not that I had a lot to loose at that time in my life) and I even passed my exams with better grades then predicted. But it was a horrible experience and the whole family was shaken up by the whole thing but we moved forward and things went back to normal for a little while,
It's hard growing up and trying to be normal. You look normal, there isn't anything outwardly wrong with you, yet you can't do everything they can.
They would eat chocolate and sweets in front of me but at the time I wasn't aloud them. Having to go out of class and do my bloods and insulin (because it was a distraction to the other kids in class). But you make it work and you carry on. Of course you have good days and bad days, just like anyone else, and sometimes the kids would tease (one of the big things that would come up was about using my Diabetes as a tool to get out of classes).
Sometimes it's just because they don't understand what Diabetes is, so to help things I set up this mini workshop with my Diabetic nurse, she came to my school and during lunch she taught my friends what Diabetes was all about and even how to inject themselves. It helped with school life a lot because half the time my friends would notice my bloods dropping quicker then I would.
Primary school was easy when it came to my Diabetes, they where understanding and helped when they could, it also helped a lot that one of the teachers there happened to have a son who was Diabetic so she knew a lot to help when she could. It was when I started down the whole puberty route that things started to turn ugly. It's hard going through puberty at the best of things times but having your bloods out of control added on, not very peachy.
One night I was very sick, I couldn't stop throwing up, At first my mum thought it was something to do with left over stress from my exams (the judged what levels i would be placed in secondary school) but then as the night progressed and the vomiting didn't stop she started to think it was the flu or something along those lines. When it was morning and I was still ill ma took me to the hospital. Turns out that I had ketoacidosis. (It's when theres to much sugar in the blood and not enough insulin to combat with it, so the body uses fat instead, but form that you get something called ketones, to much of these and it starts to poison the body)
It was horrible and most of the time I wasn't awake enough to know what was going on. My friends from school came to visit, my mum and step dad stayed as long as they could everyday. I got better after a week or so, my insulin was adjusted and I was sent home. Things went back to normal.
I was still very tired the first few days home and i'd lost tones of weight (not that I had a lot to loose at that time in my life) and I even passed my exams with better grades then predicted. But it was a horrible experience and the whole family was shaken up by the whole thing but we moved forward and things went back to normal for a little while,
Friday 15 May 2015
The Discovery!
I was officially diagnosed with Diabetes when I was 5, but the symptoms started way before then.
I don't really remember a lot about that time, so most of what I tell you from this is from my mum. I was extremely thirst, it got so bad that ma would catch me with my head standing on a kitchen chair with my head under the kitchen tap, guzzling as much as I get. So obviously from the extreme drinking I was basically living on the loo too. That constant wanting to drink anything is the body trying to flush out the poison and the longer you go without either having insulin or being diagnosed the more poison builds up and the more your body wants to flush it out.
The longer I went the more tired I got tired. I honestly was falling asleep on my feet. So I'd wake up long enough to guzzle as much water my little body could hold, pee for Briton and then fall sleep again.
It wasn't to that extreme straight away of course, it built up and got worse over time until my parents rushed me to hospital.
Again I don't really remember all that much, just snippets here and there. Like when they initially took me in, I was laying on this bed and the nurse came over and slathered this thick white cream on my hand and a giant see through plaster, it was squidgy (it was a type of numbing cream the hospital hand for kids to help with putting cannulas in) and then I was moved into this room, so they could put the cannula in, the ceiling was decorated with birds.
I don't know how they teach people now a days but I was taught how to inject with a syringe and an orange. Later I had a go on ma (with saline not actual insulin). That was one of the moments I actually remember quite vividly, I was very very scared to inject my mum. I had syringes for a long time, I didn't have the fancy pens until I was around 6/7 and then when I did get them I didn't stay on for long, there was a lot of trouble with jamming and not delivering properly, so I ended up going back to syringes and staying with them until I was in my teens. That was my preference, insulin pens are a lot better now then they where. But everything has it's ups and downs.
There is on other thing I remember about my hospital stay. We where in a huge room with tones of beds (probably wasn't as big as I remember but it seemed huge at the time) and there was an older girl on the next bed from me all I remember is her name was Jessie and she was really kind to me, always talked to me and included me in things, I named my favourite Barbie after her, which I still have to this day (she was my favourite Barbie because she wasn't like the others, dark shoulder length hair and flat feet) having that person to even say 'how are you doing today?' really helped.
Sometimes when people are diagnosed they have to change their whole life styles and food habits. It was easier for me, not only because I was so young I didn't really know any different but I was never aloud to have lots of sweets, chocolate or stuff like that so it never was a drastic change for the family as a whole. I always think that was lucky to get it so young so I wasn't stuck in bad habits that would be so hard to break (not that I don't have any now).
Going through that whole process was hard on me because of what your body is going through and then the learning to not only do blood tests but injections and the like but I think it's harder on the family because they have to watch whats happening and feel helpless. I can't imagine what my poor mum went through hoping for me to have the lesser of two evils, she told me she sat there and hoped that it was Diabetes because at least I could survive.
Sunday 10 May 2015
The Blogs First Steps
This is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I'm hoping with this Blog I can help people living with Diabetes, not only them but maybe give the people that spend their living with, whether thats friends or family, what it's truly like to live with Diabetes, theres a lot more to this then most people believe or understand,
It's not going to be a lecture or clinical, I'm just going to share the struggles and triumphs I have had and am going through. I wasn't the best Diabetic, in fact I was horrible with my control, but by sharing what i went through and in some cases my thought processes then maybe I can help at least one person going through what I did, because at the end of the day the Doctors can say they understand all they want and try to lecture you on the dangers, but coming from someone that actually went through it all might just help a little.
It's not going to be a lecture or clinical, I'm just going to share the struggles and triumphs I have had and am going through. I wasn't the best Diabetic, in fact I was horrible with my control, but by sharing what i went through and in some cases my thought processes then maybe I can help at least one person going through what I did, because at the end of the day the Doctors can say they understand all they want and try to lecture you on the dangers, but coming from someone that actually went through it all might just help a little.
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